So I went to the thrift store on Saturday looking for a number of things, among which was an ugly sweater. I'm not just talking the cigarette-yellowed ill-fitting kind. I'm talking Christmas themed with 3D pom poms as hanging ornaments off some shag carpet looking tree. I am sad to report, this is the first hipster challenge I have failed! However, I did stumble upon another treasure...
I was heading down to the book section of the store, you know, to find some Hemingway or Fitzgerald (again, nothing! What kind of thrift store is this!?). So I rounded the corner past housewares and stopped dead in my tracks. My heart started pounding, the blood rushing in my ears and my hands went numb and sweaty. There they were, Hipsters. And not just one, but a hipster couple, and even rarer find in Steinbach. I didn't know what to do other than hide around the corner and pretend I hadn't noticed them. Has this ever happened to you. You know, when you get a new car, and
suddenly you notice everyone else who has the same car as you?I think that's happening to me, but with hipsters. I took a deep breath and gathered my thoughts, which amounted to this:
'I wonder what they have in their trolley?'
As I pretended to look at mismatched ceramics, I hatched a plan. I casually waited until they got to the end of the aisle, and then just happened to bump into them. We exchanged bored and condescending glances at one another before moving on.
Here's what they had:
1. Wire coat hangers
2. A beige floral tea pot and tea set
3. Miscellaneous items of brown clothing
4. 'Flour' 'Sugar' and 'Tea' canisters in that retro 70's orange hue
But it didn't end there. I left the thrift store, and went to Superstore to pursue my ugly sweater quest (I found something for $10, but I've received 5 compliments on it since Saturday so I guess that means it doesn't count) and on my way out what did I see? ANOTHER hipster couple! These ones were quite different though. The one's at the thrift store looked as if they just rolled out of a forest where they have been living in a tree house for the last 7 years. These were classy hipsters. They were all dressed in black, with matching androgynous haircuts, black RayBans, and converse shoes. Even their cloth shopping bags were black (How ironic, that their 'green' bags are not actually green).
I need to know more. I thought there was just one type of hipster. No wonder I have read so much contradictory information online about them - there is more than one type. I feel you input, dear reader, and more research is required. So let me know - what type of hipsters live in your neighbourhood?
"But you can't get away from yourself. You can't decide not to see yourself anymore. You can't decide to turn off the noise in your head." - Jay Asher, Thirteen Reasons Why